I was lucky enough to get to see Robin Williams make an impromptu drop-in at Harmontown back in April. He was an amazingly witty, funny and charming dude.
I don’t really have anything poignant to say. I’m not very good at that stuff. I just know that even with my dips into depression and anxiety, I can understand how someone who looks seems so happy, bright, social, and overall is a good human being, can reach that place where ending it all feels like the best way out.
There’s something incredibly jarring when you realize how good your life is, and you still can’t help but feel incredibly sad. It adds an extra layer of guilt and shame to it too, and it’s not hard to come to conclusion of “Well, what’s the point of it all if I’m STILL going to feel this shitty?”
It’s a constant battle to snap yourself out that train of thought. It really is.
I think even more than calling a suicide hotline, if your brain is one of those brains that likes to break into depression it’s really important to have layers of people you can call and meet up with and talk about or distract from what you’re feeling so that you’re really surrounded by a community of support (because one person isn’t going to be able to help you all the time and a phone line seems like a really random place to go that may not be able to help you the way a therapist or loved one can help.) I also think that men sometimes aren’t taught to reach out and talk about their feelings as much with their friends (could just be me stereotyping,) so talk about your feelings, have those close bonds. Life always changes and gets better and worse and then better, lets just try to hang on and enjoy as much as we can.